


A Happy (Or Not) Birthday

by TheFParisCat



Category: Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Genre: Gen, Platonic Relationships, Species-changing Potions, magic nonsense, platonic angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27980430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFParisCat/pseuds/TheFParisCat
Summary: Who was Yzma as a teenager? Just as sharp, far more loving, far more capable of getting hurt.
Kudos: 6





	A Happy (Or Not) Birthday

Yzma stared down at Ponzo, thinking at him very, very hard. Yet none of her hopes would change him back into a human. Instead, he remained there, looking up at her with the same big brown eyes and unruly black hair that he’d had as a human. Yzma flopped back on her pallet with a groan.

She yelped as a cold, sweat sensation landed on her arm. “Y’ma? Whas wong?” Ponzo said, head cocked to the side.

Yzma stared at Ponzo. Apparently when humans changed into other species, they kept their voices as well as well as some of their human features. How fascinating. It unfortunately did not solve the issue of her foster brother being a frog. Even though she was fairly certain she had nothing to do with his sudden change, she doubted his parents would be so understanding. She’d seen it over and over again. Things would start out well with the newest set of parents, but then she’d get in a fight, misstep in school, or some natural disaster would occur. And then dagger eyes and accusing fingers would be pointed her way. After all, her father was a fallen sorcerer. Clearly she’d be the same way.

Yzma covered her face with her hands. She’d known her time there was limited, but she’d hoped—Orzo and Lani were very nice. They hadn’t thrown away any of her carved statues. They smiled at her. They’d trusted her enough to leave their child alone with her. And Ponzo was sweet to her. Perhaps she could extend things a bit longer. All she’d need to do was change Ponzo back by the time they returned home.

She sat up and snatched a small empty glass vial from the kitchen. “Ponzo, we’re going on an adventure.”

~~~~

Thank goodness Ponzo hadn’t thrown a tantrum at being a frog. Yzma couldn’t tell if that was inherent to his bubbly nature or his age. Toddlers were not the best at grasping the existential horror of their circumstances. Regardless, he was easy to hide in her bag as she collected some items for her potion at the market.

Her father had told her that the key to transformation potions was changing the subject’s nature. Spells were highly concentrated vials of nature that flushed out the subjects innate nature and replaced it. Accomplishing this with concepts, such as evil, were far more difficult, as it required breaking the concept down into real world parts, but this was much simpler. All Yzma needed to do was create a vial of human nature and give it to Ponzo.

She required three items for the potion: human nature, a stabilizer, and a multiplier. The first two were easy to acquire. Human blood was the fuel for human nature, so she’d use her own blood. A stabilizer was a thickening agent, something that kept the items from breaking up too quickly. So she bought a small bag of flour from the bread maker. The last item required much more effort to obtain. When she reached the sorcerer’s tent, she stopped, shifting from foot to foot as the midday sun broiled her skin. Sorcerers did not sell trade items of magical worth easily. Going in there would mean giving up something. She didn’t want to think about what.

Then she heard a crystal clear laugh and her blood ran cold. It was Lani. “Mama?” Ponzo piped up from inside her bag.

Yzma dashed inside and whipped the tent flaps closed. “N-no,” she said, taking a harsh breath. “We’ll see them soon, though.”

“Ah. A young sorcerer,” a gravely voice from the darkness rasped. “You all have a scent. It’s very…potent. And fragrant.”

Yzma squinted into the darkness, crossing her arms with annoyance. “Yes, yes. You’re quite threatening. No I will not try to scam you. Can we move past the intimidation, please?”

The voice chuckled. A candle lit up right in front of Yzma, lighting up a face with black, enormous eyes, and jagged teeth. Clearly a sorcerer that had given part of themselves to the night sky, if not eaten by it completely. In spite of herself, Yzma jolted. The grin broadened. Yzma glared up at them, holding her bag behind her as she rose to her tiptoes.

“My father also gave himself to the night. Did you expect that to shock me?”

The sorcerer’s eyes flashed. “A mere reminder of what you can become if you are not cautious, little Yzma.” They extended a withered hand toward Yzma. “Shall we?”

Yzma gave them a stiff nod before taking the sorcerer’s hand. As she did, lights flickered on, revealing a room that stretched much farther back then the tent appeared from the outside. It was overflowing with books, vials, and quietly humming objects. Yzma stepped around the papers lettering the floor and sat on the stool offered her. “What’s your name?” She asked.

”Malquez,” they said as they drifted toward the vials on the right side. “What is it you seek, little sorcerer?”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me little.” Yzma sat up on her stool. “I am a full fifteen years old.”

“Today, I believe,” Malquez said as they turned, now back in their human form, a tall, broad shouldered person with strong cheekbones and a full, dark beard. “Your energy is going through its annual revival.” 

Yzma hated how much Malquez sounded like her father. As if they knew her and understood her better than she did herself. She swallowed the discomfort in her throat and continued. “I’d like some moon water, please.”

Malquez turned snatched a vial of loose, mildly glowing white liquid and held it out to her. “Will this amount suffice?”

It was enough to make at least five doses of what she needed, but she figured it might be worthwhile to have some extra in case she made mistakes. So she nodded and said “Yes. How much money?” She started reaching into her purse.

Malquez’s hands gripped her wrists. “I do not seek your money, child,” they said.

Yzma looked into Malquez’s dark eyes. “Then what do you want?”

Their eyes strayed to the bag. “That frogboy seems particularly delectable.”

Yzma shrank back, clutching her bag tightly. “Are you really so dense? I’m trying to fix him!” She stood up, face flushed with rage. “If you’re going to be useless, then stop wasting my time.”

She took one step towards the entrance when they were back in front of her, face serious for the first time. “I would like something of your father’s. In return, I’ll give you even more moon water.”

Yzma rolled in her eyes. “That’s it? Fine!” She started undoing the clasp of her wooden bracelet. “My father made this.” She took one bead off of the bracelet and placed it in Malquez’s eager hand. “You know, if I ever become a full time sorcerer I’ll try not to waste people’s time.”

Malquez dashed to the shelf and came back with three equal vials of moon water. “Oh you will. And you will fall, much like your father.”

Yzma shot them a glare. She took Ponzo out of her purse before placing the vials inside to keep him from getting squished. “Thanks for the advice,” she snarled. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She’d have to carry Ponzo out in the open, but she can’t stay in this place with this loathsome person anymore.

So she stepped outside, Ponzo as a frog in hand, and immediately locked eyes with Orzo. Every hope she had died when she saw his eyes, as they went from surprised, to confused, to rage as he saw Ponzo.

“Dada!” Ponzo squeaked out. Yzma didn’t wait for the accusations, the finger pointing, the decision that she wasn’t worth it. Instead she ran. She ran and dodged and weaved, hearing the pounding feet behind her as more and more people shrieked in alarm. She ran and ran until the dirt roads become more bumpy and the trees become more plentiful. She dared a glance back and saw a group of grown men pursuing her. So she dashed into the trees, barely avoiding falling several times as the soft earth turned slick around tree roots. Eventually she reached a river with a bridge across it. She flew across the bridge, cutting the ropes loose once she reached the other side.

She looked up as the bridge was sucked into the river and saw across, where Orzo stood, staring at her with fury and rage in his eyes. A lump rose in her throat. She knew he’d assumed, and yet—he deserved something.

“Don’t worry!” She called out, her voice cracking. “I’ll fix him!”

He frowned in confusion and she studied him—his massive frame, warm brown skin, strong eyebrows, large, kind eyes, and thick, wavy black hair pushed back. She put every detail in her head. After all, this was the last time she’d see him. She wished she’d been able to cement Lani in her memory like this. She forced herself to give him a half smile before turning and running into the woods.

~~~~

She reached a small clearing that had been a resting place for travelers, equipped with a small fire pit and a lean to. She placed Ponzo on a small, smooth rock and unwrapped her supplies. With the bridge out, she had maybe thirty minutes of a head start on those coming after her. Fortunately that was more than what she needed.

“Wha yu doin’?” Ponzo hopped onto the ground next to her.

“Making something so that you’re not a frog anymore,” she said briskly. She took the empty vial out and put a few pinches of flour inside.

“I lie ‘ein a fwog,” Ponzo said.

“Maybe right now you do, but you won’t for long.” Yzma poured a bit of the moon water into the vial then turned her gaze on her little brother. “Tell me about what’s over there,” she said and pointed directly left. Ponzo hopped around and started rattling off about the trees in toddler-speak. As soon as his back was turned, Yzma whipped out her small knife and gave her pinky a quick cut, pressing her bleeding finger over the hole of the vial. As soon as three full drops fell into the vial, she capped the hole with her thumb and shook the vial vigorously.

By the time Ponzo turned back around, the vial’s liquid had become an opaque pink liquid.

“Come here, Ponzo,” she said as lightly as she could muster. Ponzo obediently hopped up on her lap. “I need you to drink this, okay? So you can be a boy again.”

Ponzo cocked his head to the side. “Oo i ase good?”

“Of course it does,” Yzma said through gritted teeth. From what she could tell, the potions had no smell, so they theoretically shouldn’t taste bad. But whether or not a toddler would drink it was anyone’s guess. She tipped the contents into his mouth. Thankfully, he did not pull away, taking every single drop.

For a moment, nothing happened. Yzma couldn’t breathe. And then, the air around Ponzo changed colors, becoming a swirling mass of pink fog that surrounded him.

“Is good?” Ponzo said as he vanished into the fog.

Yzma nodded as she blinked away mildly relieved tears. “That’s very good, Ponzo.”

The fog built and built, and then vanished all in a rush, leaving behind a very naked little boy who looked exactly the same as he had the day before. Yzma shrugged her shawl off and wrapped it around him. She hugged him so hard he squealed, said “Sop ih!” and wriggled in her arms. She let him go and stared down into his big brown eyes and swallowed hard.

The sun was nearing the horizon. He’d get hungry soon. She wished that she’d thought to bring him a snack. Perhaps she’d have enough time to go fishing?

She heard animated voices on the horizon and knew that wasn’t the case. Inconvenient tears sprang back into her eyes and she took a raggedy breath.

“Ponzo? We’re going play a game, okay?”

Ponzo bounced up and down in delight. “Wha we payin’?”

“We’re going to play find your family,” Yzma’s breath caught on the last word. She soldiered forward. “I need you to close your eyes and count to twenty,” she said. “Then tell me everything you remember about the words. But you have to keep your eyes closed, okay?”

Ponzo nodded dutifully and laid on the ground.

“When you say all you can think of, your daddy will appear, okay? The voices got louder. She could see the flickers of torches through the trees. “Ready? Go!”

“Otay, Y’ma. ”Ponzo closed his eyes and started counting.

“One, too, twee, fouh—”

She wanted to squeeze Ponzo for all he was worth before running into the woods, but then he’d know something was wrong. So the last thing she said to him was “Good job. Keep going!” before quietly sneaking away from the resting place. She crept farther and farther back, straining her ears to hear Ponzo’s little voice shout. Then she heard Orzo, saw the flickering torches descend on the campsite. He was safe. He was okay. So she turned and ran into the night, finally letting her tears fall.

**Author's Note:**

> I promised a friend an Emperor fic around 2.5 years ago. Clearly I'm great at time management! Thankfully, they like it, so I decided to share it with the world. I hope you all enjoy it!


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